Big Brother 2006

AKA ' Let's see how many cunts we can put in a house'

It's started again, Big Brother is back and he's probably even more evil than he was before because he is every year. This Brother gets so evil he might actually turn into satan himself soon. The housemates are mostly asshats again, though. Here's a quick rundown of the vermin you can expect to see if you watch the show:

Bonnie - Bonnie is a fun loving shitbrick who likes to 'blaze it up'. I can only hope this means she likes to set herself on fire and nearly die.

Pete - Has Tourette's syndrome which I can just about forgive him for, but i'm pretty sure Tourettes doesn't make you dress like an absolute twat. He also hates drum and bass, the bastard.

George - Seemed OK until he started to talk. His dream day would be driving a fast car whilst being given a blow job. Presumably from himself.

Shahbaz - His name sounds like the way he acts. I think he should change his name to 'daft twat'. He's gay, therefore he MUST jump around a lot waving his hands and screaming, angering everyone and everything he meets. He could probably anger a tree. Gives gay men a bad name, and he's unemployed. What a waste of time.

Mikey - Sexist, self loving guy who says his penis controls his brain. I wonder if he's ever thought of controlling his brain with a sharp pickaxe? Nice hair, though.

Lea - She used to be fat, now she's just hideous. Could have been non-human at some point in the past....

Imogen - I actually can't find anything i hate about her. Possibly TOO good looking.

Dawn - The most miserable person in the world?

Glyn - Loves himself so much i'll bet he wanks infront of the mirror.

Lisa - Fluent in many languages. I wonder how many words for 'cunt of the highest form' there are in Chinese?

Sezer - Seems an OK guy [EDITED Dec 06: He's a big twat who was suspected of rape. Allegedly. How fun]

and the last few I didn't really watch because I have much better things to be doing with my time. Like writing this shit.