Gifts from the Poundland gods...

Having not updated for a long time i've decided to get really frustrated with more than one thing at once, which could cause health related problems i'm sure, but it's worth it. Firstly, who the hell actually shops in Poundland? You'd have to be a first class twat to want to buy the bollocks they sell there and think that it will actually work without snapping in half the moment you so much as breath on it. I've bought stuff from other stores that does the same job as Poundland products but can stop Boeing 747s in mid-flight. I love the place though. I love their amazing ability to sell the most useless shit you could ever think of.

Here are just a few things that i have found in Poudland in the past (All for JUST £1 CHILDREN!)

-30 tiny chickens (Which i placed carefully around my flat so it looked like they were having a conference)
-Homoerotic policemen figures
-'Magic Kid' on DVD (Which i have actually bought to watch when i'm drunk later)
-Minis with interiors that are ENTIRELY CHROME (Westwood's next project car, possibly)
-Electric Scissors (Yes, really)
-Staplers in the shapes of animals (Just incase your stationary needs involve whales)
-The most amazing Halloween jellies in the entire world ever.

I stopped there because i really have to talk about these jellies a bit more. They come in a pack of 5, so if one doesn't kill you then you have some backups, and although most of them are miniature works of art there was one that stood out to me. It can be seen above. Incase you can't figure out what it is because you're too fucking stupid to use your eyes correctly i'll explain. It's a small lollipop with a skeleton head, some bones and a grave stuck onto it. Yes, that's a grave. Despite the word 'HAPPY' being written on it, it's a grave.

I am totally confused by what this means, wether they're suggesting that the person buried under the ground, dead and rotting and full of worms and shit is happy i don't know. Maybe they want us to believe that the gravestone itself is happy because they were stoned off their tits when they decorated it? Whatever, if anyone does know please leave a comment that i can ignore.

Thanks.

By the way, when i typed that i'd get angry with more than one thing, i lied. Live with it.